Dr Wingnut

Why did the computer chicken cross the road?

—

by

Dr Wingnut
in
  • Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road…
  • C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
  • C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.
  • COBOL Chicken:
    0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
    IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
    THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
    VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
    ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
    GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
  • LISP Chicken: (((((((car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(road))))…
  • Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
  • Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
  • G3 300 mH Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken
  • Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
  • Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
  • Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing.
  • Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side (Of course, those are chicklets).
  • Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
  • Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
  • Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought the road.
  • Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
  • NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June.  No, August.  September for sure.
  • OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
  • OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
  • OS/8.1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross.
  • Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
  • Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
  • Windows 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it crosses, a la peacock, but it still tastes like chicken.
  • Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while crossing. Consumes everything it can get its beak around.  Cries "fowl" then calls a cop to stop all other traffic travelling on the same road it occupies until it can waddle across, complaining all the while.  Looks like a flashy new chick, but clucks like a 95!