An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. This is a TRUE story.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way up to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I have to be on this flight, and it has to be FIRST CLASS!"
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without even hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.
"May I have your attention please?" she began saying, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal.
"We have a passenger here at the gate, WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate, it would be most helpful…!"
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth and said, "F*** you."
Without flinching, she smiled and said sweetly, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have stand in line for that, too!"