Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear In A Cab

10. “My brakes are shot, so when you get to your block just jump out”

9. “Why so shy, cowboy? Plenty of room up here”

8. “There’s something wrong with the exhaust, so try not to breathe”

7. “Watch this guy’s expression when I ram into his car”

6. “Damn, without my glasses I’m blind as a bat”

5. “Lemme see if I can drive with my mouth”

4. “Is your name Rick?  The voices in my head are telling me to kill a guy named Rick”

3. “Guess who’s in the trunk?”

2. “If I turn around and you don’t have that seat belt on, so help me I’ll punch a hole in you”

1. “Next stop — Khandahar!”