Tide Detergent

Dear Makers of Tide Detergent:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!  I’ve used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best.  Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.  My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.  Well, before I knew it, one thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative and, to my surprise and general amazement, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer a suspect in my husband’s disappearance.

What a relief!  Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go.  Have to write to the Hefty Bag people …