This is your Captain speaking

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.  Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto.  The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight.  So sit back, relax and… OH, MY GOD!  Silence followed.

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I”m sorry if I scared you.  While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!”

One Irish passenger yelled… “For foock’s sake… you should see the back of mine!”