- A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
- Back off! You’re standing in my aura.
- Chaos, panic and disorder…my work here is done.
- Do I look like a people person?
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
- Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
- Earth is full. Go home.
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
- I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
- I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
- If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
- Not all people are annoying. Some are dead.
- Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.
- Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
- This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
- Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine?
- Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
- Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
- You are depriving some village of an idiot.
- You look like shit. Is that the style now?
- You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
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