- Optimist: The glass is half full.
- Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
- Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
- C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
- Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
- Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
- SAP programmers: It'll cost you $100 for me to drink that milk.
- COBOL programmers: My doctor told me not to mix milk with my Geritol.
- MIS: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
- Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
- Prolog programmers: I know I drank it – just don't ask me how.
- Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
- UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
- Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
- Windows users: Where's my straw?
- Mac users: Where's my pump?
- UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.
- Multimedia author: (slurp!)
- Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
- Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
- CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
- NSA: We know what it really is.
- Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
- Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
- Schroedinger: That damned cat got into the milk again!
- Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
- Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
- IBM: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
- IRS: Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
- National news media: Hey, we wanted OJ!