Smart Words

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here are 2004’s winners.

Intaxication

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation

Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.)

The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little future signs of breaking down.

Foreploy

Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.)

The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis

Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis

A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon

It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.)

The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido

All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect

Stupid ideas that seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.)

The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.)

Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.)

The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Ignoranus

A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.