- I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb …. and I also know that I’m not blonde.Dolly Parton
- You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.Erica Jong
- I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.Rita Rudner
- I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.Wendy Liebman
- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.Erma Bombeck
- If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.Sue Grafton
- I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.Roseanne Barr
- I think therefore I’m single.Lizz Winstead
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.Elayne Boosler
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.Maryon Pearson
- I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.Gilda Radner
- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.Margaret Thatcher
- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.Gloria Steinem
- Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.Gloria Steinem
- I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.Marie Corelli
- Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.Baroness Edith Summerskill
- If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?Linda Ellerbee
- I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.Eleanor Roosevelt
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