Signs of the times

In a nonsmoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed”
On another plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
On a proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit, please back in.”
Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff”
At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”
Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
At the electric company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”
In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
At a propane refilling station: “Thank heaven for little grills.”
The sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

via email from D. Kimball Lord, Thu, 3 Apr 2008 19:53:10 -0700

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