Search results for: “feed”
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Illegal's Poem
I cross ocean,poor and broke,Take bus, see employment folk. Nice man treat megood in there,Say I need tosee welfare. Welfare say,"You come no more,We send cashright to your door." Welfare checks,they make you wealthy,Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by,I got plenty money,Thanks to you,American dummy. Write to friendsin motherland,Tell them "come asfast you…
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Native American Wisdom
An old Cherokee is teaching hisgrandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy."It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.One is evil- he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.The other is good – he is…
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George Carlin’s deep thoughts
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?OK… so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that…
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How to Run a Microsoft-Free Shop
Do you find that you're incapable of stopping upgrades? Do you spend much of your day patching security holes? Do you have a vague sense that you're spending too much money on software? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you may have become overly dependent on Microsoft. Here's a handy 12-step program…
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Martha's Way vs. My Way
Martha's way:Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.My way:Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for pete's sake, you are probably laying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. You know we don't have anything better to do.Martha's…
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TOP 25 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE ALREADY GROWN UP
Your potted plants stay alive.Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.You hear your favorite song on an elevator.You carry an umbrella AND you watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry and divorce instead of…
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Dirty Jokes
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got this big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell.""My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.""The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."A blind…