Search results for: “feed”
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Mouse Trap
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain? The mouse wondered — he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a…
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Houston I.S.D. Math Exam
Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations! ‘Bout time, what up?!NAME_____________ GANG/CREW NAME__________ CRIB___________Ramon has an AK-47 with a 30-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shootin. How many drive-by shootins can Ramon hit before he…
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Lessons of the Heart
Love is not the latest ballad on the radio. It is the song of a lifetime. Love is not the rock on the finger of the girl you plan to marry. It is the size of the boulder you move to repair the marriage.Love is not the fairy tale that ends with happy ever after. …
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How to drive in Phoenix
You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: “Fee-nicks.”The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM to Noon. The evening rush hour is from Noon to 7:00 PM. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 MPH. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to…
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In-flight complaints
A flight attendant was finishing up her service when she came upon a man who was obviously distraught. Immediately, the man started firing off a string of complaints about the in-flight service.The flight attendant stood quietly and listened to the tirade.“You bring me cold coffee, feed me bad food and the window doesn’t have a…
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Ten Things To Ponder For 2007
Life is sexually transmittedGood health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you…
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Remember When …
Close your eyes…And go back…….Before the Internet or PC or the MAC……….Before semi-automatics and crack….….Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari…….Before cell phones, CD’s, DVD’s, voicemail and e-mail….….way back….way…..way…..way back…..I’m talkin’ bout hide and seek at duskRed light, Green lightRed Rover….Red Rover…..Kick the CanPlaying kickball & dodgeball until the first…no…second…no…third streetlight came onRing around…