- Catholicism
- If shit happens, I deserve it.
- Protestantism
- Shit won't happen if I work harder
- Judaism
- Why does this shit always happen to me?
- Buddhism
- When shit happens, is it really shit?
- Islam
- If shit happens, take a hostage.
- Hinduism
- This shit happened before.
- Hare Krishna
- Shit happens Ramah Lama Ding Dong.
- Rastafarianism
- Lets smoke this shit!