Recall Notice:

The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the mind and body.  This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Alcoholism, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed “Subsequential Internal Non-Morality,” or more commonly known as defects of character, as it is primarily expressed.

Some symptoms include:

1. Anger
2. Self-pity
3. Dishonesty
4. Impatience
5. False pride
6. Fear
7. Resentment
8. Laziness
9. Envy
10. Insincerity
11. Intolerance
12. Selfishness

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct these shortcomings.

The Repair Technician, herein referred to as God, as you understand Him, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of shortcomings through the inventory procedure.

Next, download forgiveness from the Repair Technician, God as you understand Him, into the heart component.  No matter how big or small the defect of character is, God will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Self-forgetfulness
3. Honesty
4. Patience
5. Humility
6. Faith
7. Forgiveness
8. Action
9. Generosity
10. Compassion
11. Tolerance
12. Service

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will eventually result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on your sponsor.

DANGER: The human being units never responding to this recall action will be doomed to repeat this cycle unless they follow the few simple rules above.

Thank you for your attention!

GOD

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and that they may contact Him any time by “knee mail.”