Political correct gender definitions

How to speak about women and be politically correct: (New 2004 version)

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD – She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY – She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS – She is SURGICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU – She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT – She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS – She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE – She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

How to speak about men and be politically correct:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT – He has developed a GRAIN ALCOHOL STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING – He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER – He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK – He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT – He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY – He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED