PMS

Here are some definitions for PMS!

• Pass My Shotgun
• Psychotic Mood Shift
• Perpetual Munching Spree
• Puffy Mid-Section
• People Make me Sick
• ProvideMe withSweets
• Pardon My Sobbing
• Pimples May Surface
• Pass My Sweatpants
• Pissy Mood Syndrome
• Plainly; Men Suck
• Pack My Stuff

…and my favorite one…

• Potential Murder Suspect

And as an example:

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One!!!  ONLY ONE!!!!  And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!  They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!  They’d sit there in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!!  And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS!  But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!  IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!  IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

I’m sorry.  What was your question?