- Ellen Degeneres virus… Your IBM suddenly insists it's a MAC
- Monica Lewinsky virus… Sucks all the memory out of your computer
- Titanic virus… Makes your whole computer go down
- Disney virus… Everything in the computer goes Goofy
- Mike Tyson virus … Quits after one byte
- Prozac virus … Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
- Sharon Stone virus … Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
- Lorena Bobbit virus … Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
- Tim Allen virus … Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact
- Woody Allen virus … Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card
- Saddam Hussein virus … Won't let you into any of your programs
- Tonya Harding virus … Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
- George Michaels virus … Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup
- Joey Buttafuoco virus … Only attacks minor files
- X-files virus … All your Icons start shape shifting
- Spice Girl virus … Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop
- Ronald Reagan virus … Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
- Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus … Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them
- Sony Bono virus… Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere
- Martha Stewart virus … Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop
- Oprah Winfrey virus … Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
- AT&T virus… Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
- MCI virus … Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus