Jewish Mother

The phone rings.  Jewish mother picks up the phone and answers, Hello?

Hi Mom.  Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

You’re going out?

Yes.

With whom?

With a friend.

I don’t know why you left your husband.  He’s a good man.

I didn’t leave him.  He left me.

You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.

I do not go out with anybody.  Can I bring over the kids?

I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.

There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.

What are you hinting at?

Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.

You’re going to stay the night with him?  What will your husband say if he finds out?

My ex-husband.  I don’t think he would be bothered.  From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone.

So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?

He’s not a loser.

A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.

I don’t want to argue.  Should I bring over the kids or not?

Poor children with such a mother.

Such a what?

With no stability.  No wonder your husband left you.

Enough!

Don’t scream at me.  You probably scream at this loser too.

Now you’re worried about the loser?

Ah, so he is a loser.  I spotted him immediately.

Goodbye, Mother.

Wait!  Don’t hang up.  When are you bringing the children over?

I’m not bringing them over.  I’m not going out!

If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?