Idiot Sightings

Idiots in Service:

This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also re-quested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

Idiots at Work:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Idiots in the Neighborhood:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

Idiots in Food Service:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Idiot sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put any-thing in your baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Idiot sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

Idiot sighting #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

Idiot sighting #4:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.