Two Alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC.  The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I cain’t unnerstand how you kin be so much bigger ‘n me.  We’re the same age, we was the same size as kids.  I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” said the big ‘gator, What you been eatin’ boy?”

“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small ‘gator.

“Hmm.  Well, where do y’all catch ’em?”

“Down ‘tother side of the swamp near the parkin’ lot by the capitol.”

“Same here.  Hmm.  How do you catch ’em?”

“Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and wait fer one to unlock the car door.  Then I jump out, grab ’em on the leg, shake the shit out of ’em, and eat ’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem.  You ain’t gettin’ any real nourishment.  See, by the time you get done shakin’ the shit out of a politician, there ain’t nothin’ left but an asshole and a briefcase.