God Must Be Jewish

Moses died and went to heaven.  God greets him at the Pearly Gates.  “Are you hungry, Moses?” asks God.

“I could eat,” Moses replies.

So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.  While partaking of this humble meal, Moses looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, briskets, pheasants, pastries and wines.  Curious but deeply trusting, he remains quiet.

The next day God again invites Moses to join him for a meal. Again it’s tuna and rye bread.  And, again, Moses can see those denizens of Hell enjoying salmon, champagne, lamb, truffles, and chocolates.  Still he says nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.  He can’t contain himself any longer.  Meekly, he says: “God, I am grateful to be here in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led.  But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in that “other place” they all eat like emperors and kings!  I just don’t understand.”

God sighs, “Let’s be honest,” He says.  “For just two people, does it pay to cook?”