What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time…"
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit…