Ollie the farmer

A Minnesota farmer named Ollie had a car accident.  He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.  Olie decided to sue.

In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: “Didn’t you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’”

Ollie responded: “Vell, I’lla tell you vat happened dere.  I’d yust loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da…”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted.  “Just answer the question.  Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?”

Ollie said, “Vell, I’d yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas drivin’ down da road….’

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine.  Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client.  I believe he is a fraud.  Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ollie’s answer and said to the attorney: “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie.”

Ollie said: “Tank you” and proceeded.  “Vell as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road vin dis huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side by golly.  I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder ditch.”

“By yimminy yahosaphat I vas hurt, purty durn bad, and didn’t vant to move.  An even vurse dan dat, I could hear old Bessie a moanin’ and a groanin’.  I knew she vas in terrible pain yust by her groans.”

“Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up.  He could hear Bessie a moanin’ and a groanin’ too, so he vent over to her.  After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.”

“Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘How are you feelin’?”

“Now wot vud you say?”