- Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
- Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help
- section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
- Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
- If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
- If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no
- woman around to hear him….Is he still wrong?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide….is it considered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
- What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
- Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
- Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?
- Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?