Dallas Texas Air Traffic Control

Dallas ATC: “Tower to Saudi Air 911 — You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.”

Saudi Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC.  Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9R — Allah be Praised!”

Dallas ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 711 — You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R.”

Iran Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC.  We are cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9R. — Allah is Great!”

Pause: Static…

Saudi Air: “Dallas ATC!  Dallas ATC!”

Dallas ATC: “Go ahead Saudi Air 911?”

Saudi Air: “You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway going in opposite directions!  We are on a collision course!  Instructions please!”

Dallas ATC: “Well bless your hearts.  Y’all be careful now and tell Allah ‘hey’ for us — ya hear?”