- Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer then e-mails everyone about what it did.
- Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.
- Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB and then slowly expands to 200MB.
- Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.
- Ellen Degeneres virus: You can no longer insert disks into your computer.
- Titanic virus: Your whole computer goes down.
- Disney virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy
- Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
- Joey Buttafuocco virus: Only attacks minor files.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.
- Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.
- Viagra virus: Turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive