Dr Wingnut

Category: Hallothanksholinewyear

  • The beginning of a Tradition

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    Dr Wingnut
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    One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere.Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.  Then…

  • The Night Before Christmas – Internet Style

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A festive holiday poem‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker’s a surfing.  Geeks?  Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,While visions of Java danced in their dreams.My wife on the…

  • The Night Before Christmas – the legal version

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is what the Lewis Carroll poem, "The Night Before Christmas," would have looked like if it had been "drafted" by a lawyer:'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMASWhereas, on or about the eve prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter the "House") a general lack of stirring by…

  • The Perfect Story

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    Dr Wingnut
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    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.  After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.  Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving a perfect car (a Lamborghini) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the…

  • The Twelve Days of Christmas

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dec. 14, 1995My Dearest Peter,The cute little partridge arrived a little while ago, and the pear tree sapling came a little while later.  I'm not sure of the connection, but I love them.Love always,DoriDec 15, 1995Dearest Peter,Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.  Just imagine, two turtle doves.  I'm just delighted at your thoughtful…

  • The Rude Train Conductor

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And…

  • Just in Today

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having…