Dr Wingnut

Category: Hallothanksholinewyear

  • The Night Before Christmas – the legal version

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is what the Lewis Carroll poem, "The Night Before Christmas," would have looked like if it had been "drafted" by a lawyer:'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMASWhereas, on or about the eve prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter the "House") a general lack of stirring by…

  • The Perfect Story

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    Dr Wingnut
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    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.  After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.  Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving a perfect car (a Lamborghini) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the…

  • The Twelve Days of Christmas

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dec. 14, 1995My Dearest Peter,The cute little partridge arrived a little while ago, and the pear tree sapling came a little while later.  I'm not sure of the connection, but I love them.Love always,DoriDec 15, 1995Dearest Peter,Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.  Just imagine, two turtle doves.  I'm just delighted at your thoughtful…

  • The Twelve days of Christmas

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The song was composed by Catholics in England during the 16th Century.  They were forbidden by law to practice their Catholic faith.  The only legal church in england was the state church.  To teach their children the basic doctrine, they used nonsense songs that would not raise the suspicions of the non-Catholics around them, but…

  • Holiday gifts…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    That are better than "Stuff"Twelve Pictures in my Mind that make me happy.Seeing the wonder, warmth and hope of a sunrise.Appreciating the healty glow of a peaceful sunset.Someone speacial to sit with me when I am old.Hearing my spouse sleep softly and quietly when I head off to work.Viewing and contemplating the wonders of a…

  • The Rude Train Conductor

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And…

  • Just in Today

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having…