Dr Wingnut

Category: Hallothanksholinewyear

  • Bubba Santa

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin…

  • Reindeer

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    Dr Wingnut
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    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their…

  • Holiday Personality Disorders

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Paging Dr. Freud… Please report to the employee lounge.SchizophreniaDo You Hear What I Hear?Multiple PersonalityWe Three Kings Disoriented Are.DementiaI Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.NarcissisticHark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)ManiaDeck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town … or Deck the Halls and Spare No…

  • The Dime

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn't wear boots; he didn't like them and anyway he didn't own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold.Bobby had been in his backyard for…

  • No Crèche in the Nation's Capitol

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas.  This was not for any religious reason.  They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capital.  There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.via eMail,…

  • Thanksgiving

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows…

  • Christmas Needy

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dear Friend:With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your heart to help those in need. Hundreds of National Basketball Association basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level (Atrocious!)And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks—possibly a…