Dr Wingnut

Category: Hallothanksholinewyear

  • Create your own Engrish!

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Machine Translation isn’t what its cracked up to be.Try the Create your own Engrish! procedure posted at www.engrish.com.  They also have Christmas Cards with a picture of Santa Claus winking with the greeting, "Have you done a nice boy & girl?" for sale in the engrish store.  Very nice.

  • Holiday Christmas Party Memo

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The following is a slight rewrite of the the classic Christmas Party memo which I got from my friend Julie K. via email, Mon, 01 Dec 2003 11:47:47 -0600.From:Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTo:All EmployeesDate:October 01, 2003Re:Christmas PartyI’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon…

  • Night before Christmas 2001

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Twas the night before christmas,He lived all alone,In a one bedroom house made ofPlaster and stone. I had come down the chimneyWith presents to give,And to see just whoIn this home did live. I looked all about,A strange sight I did see,No tinsel, no presents,Not even a tree. No stocking by mantle,Just boots filled with…

  • Message From Santa

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dear Friends.I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but…

  • Christmas Party

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    Dr Wingnut
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    December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEESI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if I show up dressed as…

  • 'Twas the night before Christmas

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    Dr Wingnut
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    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck….How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the North PoleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…

  • Holiday Diets

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I hate this time of year.  Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it’s the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating…