Category: Hallothanksholinewyear
-
Virgin Mobile does it again
My friend Bruce sent me this link (http://www.chrismahanukwanzakah.com/), the latest installment for the new holiday that I posted around this time last year. Bruce’s email was titled, “I almost wet myself.” You might too.You should definitely call the toll free number +1 (888) ELF-POOP [353-7667] for assistance in choosing the right phone to give as…
-
New Year’s resolution
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.AnonymousHowever the doctor has made a resolution to go from a 38-inch waist to a 36-inch waist. Wish him luck.
-
Christmas in class
The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas.She called on young Patrick Murphy, “Tell me Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?”Patrick addressed the class, “Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come…
-
Santa’s bad day
One particular Christmas, a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. Alas, there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves just weren’t producing the toys as fast as the regular ones. Poor Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. …
-
Ode to New England
It’s winter in New EnglandAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hour at 52 below!Oh, how I love New EnglandWhen the snow’s up to your butt.You take a breath of winter airAnd your nose, it freezes shut.Yes, the weather here is wonderful,So I guess I’ll hang around.But I could never leave New England‘Cause I’m frozen…
-
Letters to Santa
Deer santa:I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.Yer Frend,BiLLyDear Billy,Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a f gging book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother the space…