- We know stuff about tanks.
- A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.
- We can open all our own jars.
- We can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- We don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
- We can leave a motel bed unmade.
- We can kill our own food.
- We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves
- If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.
- Underwear is $10 a three pack.
- If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
- Everything on our faces stays the original color.
- Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
- We don't have to clean the house/apartment if the meter reader is coming.
- Car mechanics tell us the truth.
- We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
- Same work – more pay.
- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
- We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.
- Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.
- We almost never have a "strap problem" in public.
- We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades.
- We don't have to shave below the neck.
- A few belches are expected and tolerated.
- Our belly usually hides our big hips.
- One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- We can do our nails with a pocket knife.
- We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people, the day before Christmas, in 45 minutes.