Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Y2K Jokes

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    THE BALLAD OF Y2KSung to the tune of "Gilligan's Island Theme Song"Just sit right back and you'll hear a taleOf the doom that is our fate.That started when programmers usedTwo digits for a dateTwo digits for a dateRAM memory was smaller then;Hard drives were tiny, too."Four digits are extravagant,So let's get by with two.So let's…

  • Claus Enterprises – 1995 Annual Report

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    Dr Wingnut
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    To: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Merry XmasThe usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the seasons greetings was downsized this year to commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing.The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen elected to take the early reindeer retirement package triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about…

  • A Christmas poem

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    Dr Wingnut
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    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck…How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north poleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…

  • Administratium

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    The heavist element known to man was recently discovered by US West Advanced Tech, according to one disgruntled USWester.  The element, tentatively named "administratium," has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons.  This…

  • Spelling checker

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    I have a spelling checkerIt came with my PC;It plainly marks four my revueMistakes I cannot sea.I’ve run this poem threw itI’m sure your please to no.It’s letter-perfect in it’s weigh.My checker tolled me sew.

  • Acronyms

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    GOMERGet out of my emergency room CUSIPCommittee on Uniform Security Identification ProceduresID10TThat must be a eye dee ten tee error (Idiot)DEU Defective end userGPF Gutted Pummeled and Fucked

  • Radisson Mart Plaza

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    It’s gonna be hot out there.This ain’t no beach hotel.CB2 – Cute but braindead.Not a happy camper.Gomers go to ground.Mark Wm. Herron, ControllerIf it’s on greenbar, it must be right.Mark Wm. Herron, ControllerSayings around Radisson Mart Plaza Hotel in Miami Florida inthe early 1980’s