Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • I Can’t

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    The fourth grade teacher distributed sheets of paper to the class.  She asked every student to write down all the things that they believed they could not do, wished they could do or wanted to do.  Each student went to work writing down their “can’ts.”  I can’t kick a soccer ball the right way.  I…

  • Changing a light bulb

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    How many members of your astrological sign does it take to change a light bulb?ARIES:Just one. You want to make something of it?TAURUS:One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.GEMINI:Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it…

  • A Name Game

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    DON'T ASK – JUST PLAY!Copy and paste this letter into a new e-mail. Then read the list of names. If your name is on the list, put a star next to it. If not, then add your name (in alphabetical order.) Send it to ten people and send it back to the person who sent…

  • Humor & Stuff

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Change the ropeThere is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the…

  • Y2K Jokes

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    THE BALLAD OF Y2KSung to the tune of "Gilligan's Island Theme Song"Just sit right back and you'll hear a taleOf the doom that is our fate.That started when programmers usedTwo digits for a dateTwo digits for a dateRAM memory was smaller then;Hard drives were tiny, too."Four digits are extravagant,So let's get by with two.So let's…

  • Claus Enterprises – 1995 Annual Report

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    To: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Merry XmasThe usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the seasons greetings was downsized this year to commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing.The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen elected to take the early reindeer retirement package triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about…

  • A Christmas poem

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck…How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north poleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…