Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Memo from God

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    Dr Wingnut
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    To: YOUDate: TODAYFrom: THE BOSSSubject: YOURSELFReference: LIFEI am God.  Today I will be handling all of your problems.  Please remember that I do not need your help.If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it.  Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to…

  • Merry Christmas from the "Sticker Patch"

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Palm trees wave, are you listenin’?In the pool, water’s listenin’,A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight,Livin’ in a Phoenix Wonderland.Gone away is the blizzard,Here to stay is the lizard,A warm sunny day, we like it that way,Livin’ in a Phoenix Wonderland.In the desert we will have a picnic,Cactus, sand and rattlesnakes and sun.Christmas dinner is an…

  • In case any of you thought I was kidding…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Lacy things, the wife is missingDidn’t ask for her permissionI’m wearing her clothes, her silk pantyhoseWalking ’round in women’s underwearIn the stores, there’s a teddy,With little straps, like spaghettiIt hold me so tight,Like handcuffs at night,Walking ’round in women’s underwearIn the office, there’s a guy named MelvinHe pretends that I am Murphy Brown,He’ll say are…

  • I Can’t

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The fourth grade teacher distributed sheets of paper to the class.  She asked every student to write down all the things that they believed they could not do, wished they could do or wanted to do.  Each student went to work writing down their “can’ts.”  I can’t kick a soccer ball the right way.  I…

  • Changing a light bulb

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    Dr Wingnut
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    How many members of your astrological sign does it take to change a light bulb?ARIES:Just one. You want to make something of it?TAURUS:One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.GEMINI:Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it…

  • A Name Game

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    Dr Wingnut
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    DON'T ASK – JUST PLAY!Copy and paste this letter into a new e-mail. Then read the list of names. If your name is on the list, put a star next to it. If not, then add your name (in alphabetical order.) Send it to ten people and send it back to the person who sent…

  • Humor & Stuff

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Change the ropeThere is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the…