Author: Dr Wingnut

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.Van Roy's Law: Honesty is…

During a storm, you check the cattle before the kids.You are related to more than half the town.Your quarterback is hurt and you are hoping it is the first thing on the six o'clock news, and it is.You use your life savings to go to the Nebraska-Colorado game.You can wear red and white overalls in…

A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl.His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field. He approached the…

If this link is broken search Google for: Magic card trickIf this link is broken search Google for: Perfect jokevia eMail, Sat, 29 Jan 2000 18:33:50 -0600

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?A pimp.Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?A southern zoo has a description…

The following is an actual excerpt from this month's Forbes Magazine:A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because…

Include Your Children When Baking CookiesSomething Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts SayPolice Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersDrunks Get Nine Months in Violin CaseIraqi Head Seeks ArmsLocal High School Dropouts Cut in HalfProstitutes Appeal to PopePanda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverBritish Left Waffles on Falkland IslandsTeacher Strikes Idle KidsClinton Wins Budget; More Lies AheadPlane…