Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Quotable that really make sense

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?  Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest"Whenever…

  • Price per gallon

    This is what it costs to buy a gallon of…..Diet Snapple 16oz for $1.29 = $10.32 a gallonLipton Iced Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 a gallonGatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 a gallonOcean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 a gallonSTP brake fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 a gallonVick's…

  • How an 8 year old Explain's God

    We all have our own reasons for why we believe in God. This is by far the most amusing. Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment to explain God.Explaining Godby Danny DuttonOne of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones…

  • Adam & Eve

    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God…"Lord, I have a problem!""What's the problem, Eve?""Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy.""Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above."Lord, I…

  • I know this is true

    I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…

  • Hilarious 800 number

    Hey, ya'all, (or is it "y'all"?), try calling this 800 number and listening to their voice mail system up to the point when they ask you to pick an extension. When you get there, hang up. It will be worth it. The number is +1 (800) 578.7453.via eMail from Jeffrey L. Patten, Esq., Thu, 16…

  • Not all blondes are woman

    A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.What's up?" he says."I'm having a heart attack." Cries the woman.He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, His 4-year-old son comes…