Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • People

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    Dr Wingnut
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    People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.What you spend…

  • A groaner

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    "Doc," the patient says, "I keep seeing talking crickets, talking dogs, talking birds, talking cats.What's wrong with me?""Nothing at all," the doctor answers."You're just having Disney spells."via eMail, Wed, 22 Mar 2000 17:11:11 -0600

  • Careful what you wish for

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    Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth.This particular genie, however, stated…

  • Quotable that really make sense

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?  Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest"Whenever…

  • Price per gallon

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is what it costs to buy a gallon of…..Diet Snapple 16oz for $1.29 = $10.32 a gallonLipton Iced Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 a gallonGatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 a gallonOcean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 a gallonSTP brake fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 a gallonVick's…

  • How an 8 year old Explain's God

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    We all have our own reasons for why we believe in God. This is by far the most amusing. Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment to explain God.Explaining Godby Danny DuttonOne of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones…

  • Adam & Eve

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    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God…"Lord, I have a problem!""What's the problem, Eve?""Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy.""Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above."Lord, I…