Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Bumper stickers

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.The Earth Is Full — Go HomeI Have The Body Of A God (Buddha)This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to MeCleverly Disguised as a Responsible AdultThe Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My NameEat Right, Exercise, Die AnywayIlliterate? Write For HelpHonk If…

  • This may be true

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    It was the late 1600s in Philadelphia when Quakers were routinely arrested for civil disobedience.At the time, William Penn's mother and two of her sisters owned a successful Quaker business, a bakery. The women increased the price of their pies, specifically donating the money to support the legal expenses of their Quaker friends.Many in the…

  • Darwin Awards

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    The 1999 Darwin Awards – proof that mankind is still evolving!One of the long awaited moments of each New Year is the awarding of the Darwin Award. This prestigious award recognizes those people who, through stupid and inane actions, manage to kill themselves thus improving society by removing their genes from the pool.The runners-up for…

  • Oxymora & pleonasms

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    OxymoronsAct naturallyFound missingResident alienAdvanced BASICGenuine imitationAirline FoodGood griefSame differenceAlmost exactlyGovernment organizationSanitary landfillAlone togetherLegally drunkSilent screamAmerican historyLiving deadSmall crowdBusiness ethicsSoft rockButt HeadMilitary IntelligenceSoftware documentationNew York cultureNew classicSweet sorrowChildproof"Now, then …"Synthetic natural gasChristian ScientistsPassive aggressionTaped liveClearly misunderstoodPeace forceExtinct LifeTemporary tax increaseComputer jockPlastic glassesTerribly pleasedComputer securityPolitical scienceTight slacksDefinite maybePretty uglyTwelve-ounce pound cakeDiet ice creamRap musicWorking vacationExact estimateReligious toleranceMicrosoft…

  • Noah

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    If Noah had lived in the United States in the 1990s (or even 2000), the story may have gone something like this:And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you…

  • The New School Prayer

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Now I sit me down in schoolWhere praying is againstthe ruleFor this great nation under GodFinds mention of Himvery odd.If Scripture now the class recites,It violates theBill of Rights.And anytime my head I bowBecomes a Federalmatter now.Our hair can be purple, orange or green,That's nooffense; it's a freedom scene.The law is specific, the law isprecise.Prayers…

  • Where is the perfection?

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learningdisabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire schoolcareer, while others can be mainstreamed into conventional schools. At aChush fundraising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speechthat would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling theschool and…