Author: Dr Wingnut

Cats do what they want.They rarely listen to you.They're totally unpredictable.They whine when they are not happy.When you want to play, they want to be alone.When you want to be alone, they want to play.They expect you to cater to their every whim.They're moody.They leave hair everywhere.They drive you nuts and cost an arm and…

A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over.  The man says "whats the problem officer?"Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harry, you were going 80.Man gives his wife a dirty look.Officer: I will also…

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas petKerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionariesGreat Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breedPekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dogIrish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle Labrador…

Vincent VanGogh had many relatives. Among them were:His obnoxious brother… Please GoghHis dizzy aunt… Verti GoghThe brother who loved prunes… Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store… Stop 'N GoghThe grandfather from Yugoslavia… U. GoghThe cousin from Illinois… Chica GoghHis magician uncle… Where Diddy GoghHis Spanish cousin… Ahmee GoghThe Spanish cousin's American half…

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous.  They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if…

Anagrams – when you rearrange the letters in a word to make new onesDormitory = Dirty RoomEvangelist = Evil's AgentDesperation = A Rope Ends ItThe Morse Code = Here Come DotsSlot Machines = Cash Lost in 'emMother-in-law = Woman HitlerSnooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z'sAlec Guinness = Genuine ClassThe Public Art Galleries = Large…

Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road…C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.COBOL Chicken:0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.IF NO-MORE-VEHICLESTHEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROADVARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTILON-THE-OTHER-SIDEELSEGO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGLISP Chicken: (((((((car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(road))))…Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken,…