Author: Dr Wingnut
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When Dogs Go And Cross Breed…
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas petKerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionariesGreat Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breedPekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dogIrish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle Labrador…
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Where did the Van Gogh?
Vincent VanGogh had many relatives. Among them were:His obnoxious brother… Please GoghHis dizzy aunt… Verti GoghThe brother who loved prunes… Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store… Stop 'N GoghThe grandfather from Yugoslavia… U. GoghThe cousin from Illinois… Chica GoghHis magician uncle… Where Diddy GoghHis Spanish cousin… Ahmee GoghThe Spanish cousin's American half…
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Where is God?!
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if…
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Whoever came up with these has to much time on their hands
Anagrams – when you rearrange the letters in a word to make new onesDormitory = Dirty RoomEvangelist = Evil's AgentDesperation = A Rope Ends ItThe Morse Code = Here Come DotsSlot Machines = Cash Lost in 'emMother-in-law = Woman HitlerSnooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z'sAlec Guinness = Genuine ClassThe Public Art Galleries = Large…
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Why did the computer chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road…C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.COBOL Chicken:0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.IF NO-MORE-VEHICLESTHEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROADVARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTILON-THE-OTHER-SIDEELSEGO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGLISP Chicken: (((((((car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(road))))…Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken,…
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Why did you get married?
"I got married," said the first tavern regular, "so that I could get laid three or four times a week.""That's funny," said another patron, "That's why I got divorced."
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Why it’s great to be a guy
Phone conversations last 30 secondsYou know useful stuff about tanks and airplanesA 5 day vacation requires only one suitcaseBathroom lines are 80% shorterYou can open all your own jarsOld friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weightWhen clicking thru the channels you don’t have to stop on every shot of someone cryingYou…