Author: Dr Wingnut
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Welcome to Atlantic City
A TRUE STORY IN ATLANTIC CITY NJ (WAS IN THE PAPER)On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her…
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Welcome to Boston
You know you’re from Boston if…You think of Philadelphia as the midwest.You think it’s your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R’s).You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.All your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins.You refer to…
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Welcome to Dublin
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I…
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Welsh radio interview
Excerpt from a recent live radio interview on one of the regional Welsh stations.A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a Youth club:Interviewer: So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?Jones: We're going to teach them climbing, abseiling, canoeing, archery, shooting…Interviewer: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible…
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Whale of a tale
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out our air holes at…
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What Bill meant…
"Members of Congress… people of America… I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I HAVEN'T tried to do are the First Lady,…
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What if Dr. Seuss Wrote Computer Technical Manuals?
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,And the bus is interrupted (as a very last resort)And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abortThe socket packet pocket has an error to report.If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dashAnd the double clicking icons put your…