Author: Dr Wingnut
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Welcome to Dublin
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I…
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Welsh radio interview
Excerpt from a recent live radio interview on one of the regional Welsh stations.A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a Youth club:Interviewer: So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?Jones: We're going to teach them climbing, abseiling, canoeing, archery, shooting…Interviewer: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible…
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Whale of a tale
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out our air holes at…
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What Bill meant…
"Members of Congress… people of America… I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I HAVEN'T tried to do are the First Lady,…
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What if Dr. Seuss Wrote Computer Technical Manuals?
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,And the bus is interrupted (as a very last resort)And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abortThe socket packet pocket has an error to report.If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dashAnd the double clicking icons put your…
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What is a cat?
Cats do what they want.They rarely listen to you.They're totally unpredictable.They whine when they are not happy.When you want to play, they want to be alone.When you want to be alone, they want to play.They expect you to cater to their every whim.They're moody.They leave hair everywhere.They drive you nuts and cost an arm and…
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What's the problem officer?
A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says "whats the problem officer?"Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh Harry, you were going 80.Man gives his wife a dirty look.Officer: I will also…