Author: Dr Wingnut

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.  The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:Dear Sirs:While…

How about never?  Is never good for you?You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.The fact that no one understands…

In case you receive an e-mail titled “How to Give a Cat a Coloni” DO NOT open it.  It will erase everything on your hard drive.  Forward this message to as many people as you can.  This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it.This information was announced yesterday morning…

A Debtor, called in for an audit at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.  "Wear your shabbiest clothing.  Let him think you are a pauper."  Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.  "Do not let them intimidate you.  Wear your most elegant suit and…

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.  Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the…

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.  He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth.  In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.  He tried and tried to dig it…

Minnesota:It is illegal to tease skunks.Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.Michigan: A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."In Clawson, it is legal for a man to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."New…