Author: Dr Wingnut

Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger.  She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.One Texan said to the other, "That gal is having a bad time!"The other Texan agreed and said "Yep,…

If Fed Ex and UPS* were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses…

Ads in BillsHave you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now?  Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them.  I get back at them.  I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in.  Coffee grinds, banana peels…I write, "Could you throw…

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.  Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace…

Never give me work in the morning.  Always wait until 4pm and then bring it in to me.  The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.If its a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how I am doing.  That helps.  Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every…

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."Tom, 5WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."Mike, 9WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS…

There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic".  Some have just come to light due to the success of the recent movie.  For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England.  The "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera…