Author: Dr Wingnut
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The Trouble Tree
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.While I drove him home, he sat in stoney silence. On arriving,…
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The Twelve Days of Christmas
Dec. 14, 1995My Dearest Peter,The cute little partridge arrived a little while ago, and the pear tree sapling came a little while later. I'm not sure of the connection, but I love them.Love always,DoriDec 15, 1995Dearest Peter,Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your thoughtful…
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The way it is…
One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The BRAIN said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The EYES said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the…
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THERE'S NO SAFE SEX
Man's penis cut off by vacuum cleanerLong Branch, New Jersey — Police say a New Jersey man trying to have sex with a vacuum cleaner nearly bled to death.Authorities say the machine cut off a-half inch of his penis.A Long Branch city spokesman says the unidentified man was drunk when it happened.He first told police…
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Things We'd Like To See On Company Motivational Posters…
If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.It's only unethical if you get caught.The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cutsDoing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen…
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Think About It
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"