Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BET

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"  After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office…

  • The many uses of Bounce:

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    Dr Wingnut
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    It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.Repel mosquitoes.  Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.Eliminate static electricity from your television screen.  Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of…

  • The Masturbata

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Adam Sandler's version of Macarana, "The Masturbata" (sung to tune of the Macarana) by Adam SandlerSitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona.Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon StonaHey Masturbata!!I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea,Once ain't…

  • The Night Before Christmas – Internet Style

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A festive holiday poem‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker’s a surfing.  Geeks?  Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,While visions of Java danced in their dreams.My wife on the…

  • The Night Before Christmas – the legal version

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is what the Lewis Carroll poem, "The Night Before Christmas," would have looked like if it had been "drafted" by a lawyer:'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMASWhereas, on or about the eve prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter the "House") a general lack of stirring by…

  • The Perfect Story

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    Dr Wingnut
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    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.  After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.  Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving a perfect car (a Lamborghini) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the…

  • The Photographer

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane."It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.As soon as…