Author: Dr Wingnut
-
Spelling checker
Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly marques four my revueMiss steaks eye kin knot sea.Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeather eye am wrong oar writeIt shows me strait a weigh.As soon as a mist ache is maidIt nose bee fore two longAnd eye…
-
THAT PARROT
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; It wouldn't be as much work as a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. She…
-
The Beer Diet
FACT: A lite beer has between 70 and 100 calories, is almost all water, and the part that isn't water is almost pure carbohydrates.FACT: The average diet recommends a daily caloric intake of 1,200 calories for women, 1,500 for men, if you want to lose the medically safe two to three pounds a week. On…
-
The beginning of a Tradition
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere.Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then…
-
The Best Chain Letter Yet!
Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion f**king forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them,…
-
The bird is the word
This was in today's Oregonian:Jim Morris thought there was something familiar about the three gold and white chickens he saw in the parking lot of the Motel 6 in Troutdale while on a trip to watch some motocross races.They even came when he whistled.It wasn't until he got home to Coos Bay that the Federal…
-
THE CANDYWRAPPER
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"Well, she immediately went down…