Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Some Assembly Required…

    'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the houseI searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.Instructions were studied and we were inspired,In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to…

  • More Totally useless information ('facts' from Weird News)

    “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class: $40,000An ostrich’s eye is bigger that its brain.Average life span of a major league baseball: 7…

  • Did you know that…

    "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt.""Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.A shark is…

  • Signs from England

    In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARDIn an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET…

  • Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

    Optimist: The glass is half full.Pessimist: The glass is half empty.Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug. Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow. Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.SAP programmers: It'll cost you $100 for me to drink…

  • Sorta cool test when you have 3 minutes

    This is a little game that has a pretty funny/creepy outcome.  Don't read ahead, just do it in order.It takes about 3 minutes and I think that it's worth it.  I did it and it was weird!First, get a blank piece of paper and pen.  When you are asked to choose names, make sure it's…

  • Sound accurate???

    Here is one for anybody who has done tech supportA man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"The man below says "Yes, you're in a…