Author: Dr Wingnut

John Jones, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment review describing Bob Smith, one of his programmers.Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be foundhard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, withoutwasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob neverthinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he alwaysfinishes…

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?He who laughs last thinks slowest.Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.Auntie Em…Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.…

Lost: small apricot poodle.  Reward.  Neutered.  Like one of the family.For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.Four-poster bed, 101 years old.  Perfect for antique lover.Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick…

I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer would not turn on.1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say…

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teethYou can get a better grip on a sheep's earSheep don't shy away from boots and leatherCotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social diseaseNuttin' beats muttonSheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towelSheep won't drink your liquor, smoke…

From:   Lynn ShowalterSent:   Monday, September 28, 1998 8:29 AMTo:     Carie LaClare; Home OfficeSubject:        RE: Carie on the phoneDo you mean courtesy?——Original Message——From:   Carie LaClareSent:   Monday, September 28, 1998 8:24 AMTo:     Home Office Subject:        Carie on the phoneWhen you walk by my desk, please make sure I am not on the phone before talking to me.  I know it is hard to tell, but it is…

SO, THERE'S THIS MAN FROM BOSTON…  and he dies and goes to hell.  When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him.  The Devil then says, "Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here."  The Man says, "No problem, I'm from Boston."So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to…