Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • New FDA Warnings

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again…

  • New flick needs title

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    Dr Wingnut
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    It is rumored a film about Bill and Monica is already completed in Hollywood. All that is left is to figure out the title of the movie.Here are some candidates for the title:Citizen StainPrince of TiesThe Bad News BaresDumb and Dumber TwoLady and the TrampThe Hoarse WhispererApackolies NowDial M for MonicaWilly Wonka and the Cigar…

  • New perspective on Baseball

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    Dr Wingnut
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    In 1921 Babe Ruth hit 59 home runs in 152 games played.In 1927 Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs in 151 games played.As of 19 Sep 1999:In 1999 Sammy Sosa has hit 59 home runs in 140 games played so far.In 1999 Mark McGuire has hit 54 home runs in 135 games played so far.The…

  • New Scientific Theories

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    Here are the winning entries from a recent contest for "New Scientific Theories."THE RUNNERS-UP:4th Runner UpThe earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to…

  • New Words

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    Dr Wingnut
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    AQUADEXTROUS(ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.CARPERPETUATION(kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it…

  • No Wonder

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    Dr Wingnut
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    For years I've been blaming it on iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.  But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked.  The population of this country is 35 million. Four million are retired.  That leaves 31 million to do the work.There are 19 million…

  • Norm Peterson Quotes

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    Dr Wingnut
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    If you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on "Cheers" here you go.SAM: "What's shaking Norm?"NORM: "All four cheeks & a couple of chins."SAM: "What's new Normie?"NORM: "Terrorists, Sam.  They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."SAM: "What'd you like Normie?"NORM: "A reason to live.  Give me another beer."SAM: "What'll you have Normie?"NORM:…