Author: Dr Wingnut

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety…

What he saysWhat he means"Was it good for you?""I'm insecure about my manhood." "I want a commitment.""I'm sick of masturbation."I had a wonderful time last night.""Who the hell are you?" "I've been thinking a lot.""You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.""I'll give you a call.""I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild…

Open a new document in Word Type "I'd love to see you naked" (without the quotes) Highlight the entire sentence you just typed Click Tools; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)

Dear Sir:My friend in Ute, Iowa received a check for $1000 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what…

This is an actual alert to IBM field engineers that went out to all IBM branch offices.  The person who wrote it was very serious.  The rest of us, find it very funny.Abstract: Mouse Balls available as FRUMouse Balls are now available as FRU.  Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should perform erratically,…

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.An…

Here's a little something I found in the newpaper this morning that I thought would start your week off right (?)…Stephen Spielberg was discussing his new project, an epic on classical music composers, with Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Steven Segal and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Spielberg strongly desired the box office "oomph" of these superstars, so he…