Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • McDonald's Fast Food Job Application

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    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!  (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)NAME: Greg BulmashDESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a…

  • McDonnell Douglas Questionnaire

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    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.  In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.[_] Mr.  [_]…

  • Medical Care

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    A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."The…

  • MERGER MANIA

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    A number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.There is a merger in the works involving Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace…

  • Microsoft humour (even though it pains me to send)…

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    Windows 98 is a 32 bit patch to a 16 bit GUI based platform on an 8 bit operating system, written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company which can not stand 1 bit of competition.Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be…

  • MICROSOFT TESTS NUCLEAR DEVICE AT SECRET HANFORD FACILITY

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    Dr Wingnut
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    REDMOND (BNN)—World leaders reacted with stunned silence as Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) conducted an underground nuclear test at a secret facility in eastern Washington state.  The device, exploded at 9:22 am PDT (1622 GMT/12:22 pm EDT) today, was timed to coincide with talks between Microsoft and the US Department of Justice over possible antitrust action."Microsoft is…

  • Microsoft Windows98 Upgrade

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    This was from the body of a message my brother sent me.  He upgraded to Win98 when it came out.  He is pretty technically inclined, not the usual windows user.I have found out ANOTHER flaw in 98. In order to get any update to the system one has to go to Microsoft's windows update page.…