Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • MERGER MANIA

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.There is a merger in the works involving Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace…

  • Microsoft humour (even though it pains me to send)…

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    Windows 98 is a 32 bit patch to a 16 bit GUI based platform on an 8 bit operating system, written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company which can not stand 1 bit of competition.Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be…

  • MICROSOFT TESTS NUCLEAR DEVICE AT SECRET HANFORD FACILITY

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    Dr Wingnut
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    REDMOND (BNN)—World leaders reacted with stunned silence as Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) conducted an underground nuclear test at a secret facility in eastern Washington state.  The device, exploded at 9:22 am PDT (1622 GMT/12:22 pm EDT) today, was timed to coincide with talks between Microsoft and the US Department of Justice over possible antitrust action."Microsoft is…

  • Microsoft Windows98 Upgrade

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This was from the body of a message my brother sent me.  He upgraded to Win98 when it came out.  He is pretty technically inclined, not the usual windows user.I have found out ANOTHER flaw in 98. In order to get any update to the system one has to go to Microsoft's windows update page.…

  • Military Humor

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    "Squawks" are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.  Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.(P) Test flight OK,…

  • Millennia Year Application Software System

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    The year 2000 dilemma is solved.This memo is to announce the development of a new software system.We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting…

  • Monday Groaners

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    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the…