Author: Dr Wingnut

Home is where you hang your @The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.Great groups from little icons grow.Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.C: is the root of all directories.Don't put all your hypes…

Seems God was just about done creating the universe. But He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee standing.…

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!  (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)NAME: Greg BulmashDESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a…

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.  In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.[_] Mr.  [_]…

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."The…

A number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.There is a merger in the works involving Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace…

Windows 98 is a 32 bit patch to a 16 bit GUI based platform on an 8 bit operating system, written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company which can not stand 1 bit of competition.Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be…