Author: Dr Wingnut
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Actual Dear Abby excerpts
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for six years and have five kids. No twins. My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in the morning too. I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says that is his hobby.DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a…
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A Holiday Wish
He laid her on the tableSo white clean and bare.His forehead wet with beads of sweatHe rubbed her here and there.He touched her neck, then her breastAnd then drooling, felt her thigh.The slit was wet and all was set,He gave a joyous cry.The hole was wide…he looked insideAll was dark and murky.He rubbed his hands…
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A Letter Home From Scout Camp
Dear Mom,Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it…
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A Good Wife
A wife accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his examination, the doctor summoned the wife into his office alone. The doctor said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be…
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A Heaven joke
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St.…
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A genie
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses.On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window…
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A funny horoscope
I have seen some pretty off the mark horoscopes but this one takes the cake… Read this one cuz you can't lose even if you're born under the most ill-fated star there is… You should really try this… It's really weird but it's funny!!!Write your answers down on a piece of paper… No cheating… Don't…